How to Improve Emotional Intelligence — the Skill Behind It Is Emotional Literacy
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TL;DR

Experts highlight that improving emotional intelligence starts with building emotional literacy—learning to identify and name feelings. This foundational skill is teachable and essential for healthier relationships.

Recent guidance from The Gottman Institute underscores that the key to improving emotional intelligence lies in developing emotional literacy — the ability to recognize, name, and express feelings clearly. This foundational skill is essential for healthier relationships and is teachable at any age, making it relevant for individuals seeking personal growth or better connection with others.

According to The Gottman Institute, emotional literacy involves expanding one’s vocabulary for feelings, which allows individuals to identify and articulate their emotions more precisely. This skill serves as the foundation for other aspects of emotional intelligence, such as attunement and regulation. The Institute offers resources like free guides and practical tools to help individuals practice naming their feelings and sharing them effectively.

Research from the Institute indicates that adults can learn and improve emotional literacy through repetition and practice, similar to how children develop emotional skills. The process involves small, consistent efforts, such as using structured exercises or conversation tools, to turn feeling recognition into habitual behavior. These practices can help foster emotional safety and understanding in relationships over time.

Why Emotional Literacy Is Critical for Relationship Health

Developing emotional literacy provides a practical skill that supports emotional intelligence, which is associated with healthier, more resilient relationships. As emotional literacy is teachable and accessible at any age, it offers a tangible pathway for personal growth and improved connection. This approach emphasizes the development of skills that can be learned, making emotional intelligence more attainable for a wider audience.

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The Role of Emotional Literacy in Building Emotional Intelligence

The concept of emotional intelligence was first introduced by psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in 1990 and popularized by Daniel Goleman. It encompasses perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions in oneself and others. The Gottman Institute emphasizes that emotional literacy—the ability to name and describe feelings—is the practical starting point for developing these broader skills. Research shows that both children and adults can improve their emotional skills through targeted practice, challenging the misconception that emotional intelligence is solely innate.

“The first move is literacy: widening the set of words you have for inner states, and practicing saying them plainly.”

— an anonymous researcher at The Gottman Institute

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Remaining Questions About Emotional Literacy Development

While the importance of emotional literacy is well-supported, it is still unclear how quickly individuals can see measurable improvements and how best to tailor interventions for diverse populations. Further research is needed to determine the most effective methods for teaching emotional literacy across different age groups and cultural contexts.

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Next Steps for Learning and Applying Emotional Literacy

Individuals interested in enhancing their emotional intelligence should explore resources like The Gottman Institute’s free emotional literacy guides and practice tools. Future developments may include more personalized programs or workplace initiatives aimed at embedding emotional literacy into daily interactions. Continued research will clarify optimal strategies for widespread adoption and long-term impact.

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Key Questions

Can emotional intelligence really be learned as an adult?

Yes. Evidence from The Gottman Institute and other research shows that emotional intelligence, including emotional literacy, can be developed at any age through consistent practice and effort.

What are practical ways to improve emotional literacy?

Practicing naming feelings, using structured tools like emotion decks, and engaging in conversations that focus on feelings can help build emotional vocabulary and awareness.

How does emotional literacy impact relationships?

It fosters emotional safety, understanding, and effective communication, which are essential for strong, resilient relationships.

Are there resources available to help me get started?

Yes. The Gottman Institute offers free guides, tools, and programs designed to help individuals expand their emotional vocabulary and improve attunement skills.

Is emotional literacy only about recognizing feelings, or does it include managing them?

While recognizing and naming feelings is the first step, emotional literacy also involves understanding what feelings mean and expressing them appropriately, which supports better regulation and relationship management.

Source: The Gottman Institute

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